Debatable my first real (Had my own room this time) shared house was
between may 1999 and January 2000. Some of my workmates had pooled their money and gotten this
big old house in the suburbs.
I went there for some drinking one night, they invited me in and 24 hours later I was living there.
We started with:
Chris. (From the towel story)
Lewis. (The monkey from several stories)
The place had 6 bedrooms, two lounge rooms it was huge.
Many times I have regretted leaving that house, it was pretty much a party house.
Never before or since have I socialized or drank so much.
We were all friends.
Joining the core housemates listed above was Luke’s crazy underage girlfriend
who was over most days, the Jew who moved in a month or so after me, Peter who slept in the lounge and starved,
various houseguests, partners ect ect.
Such a happy house for a time.
* Simon writing his name in beer bottles in the back yard.
* Digging a pit in the back yard, we used it as a campfire. We would sit out there on couches
and explode whatever we had on hand. The best one was a can of dog food strangely enough. One night the police
arrived, noise complaint thankfully rather than a explosion complaint. Nothing came of it. When we ran out of things
to burn we started tearing bits off the neighbours fence. – Good times.
* Luke peeing through the gaps in said neighbours fence and having an old lady threaten him with scissors.
* The Bar. Taylor had a fucking bar in the lounge room. A BAR!
* Peter getting food for us and doing chores in return for tiny sums of money or food.
He was poorer than us and we exploited this.
* Playing UT & Quake 3.
* The drinking. So much.
* Trippy throwing up in the lounge room on the floor. We waited almost a week for him to
come back, then we made him clean it. Inside the vomit was a sticker from a peach.
* Chris and the towel.
* Chris going spastic and destroying his room. The funny part was listening to him complain
that he was cold. Probably shouldn’t have smashed all your windows then.
* Chris’s family, See ugly.
* No food & Food theft.
* Dirty kitchen.
* Peter our lounge dweller yelling at people that pay rent for making noise ect.
* Simon looping single songs and then wandering off. Fucking YMCA for three hours.
* Chris’s fucking family. Jesus. His sister would come over with her crazy husband.
His name is Sean. One of the stories he would tell us constantly (Thank you Simon) was how he bas beaten up by Wogs.
Cause Chris’s brother in law was name ‘Sean’ or Shawn, had been in jail and
was a psycho cause one day he was walking down the street with his dog and a
heaps of wogs were across the road and they yelled out something and he
walked across and smacked 1 guy out straight away and and took a couple more
out and he ended up getting his head kicked in but had his jaw hanging in
his mouth…like danging in the skin…
and that day he called up and said he was coming round to get his weights or
something and we said we didn’t want him there and he said he was going to
beat us up or cause trouble…so chris called the cops and said his name and
within 15 minutes there was coincidental a police car just parked across the
road with 2 coppers in it waiting for about 30 mins then left….
Bit of a mess really. After several months of us bitching at him Chris finally (By phone)
called Sean and told him he was unwelcome.
I probably would have done it by phone also. We were all scared of him. They would come
over he’d talk about fighting and prison, she discuss their sexual habits.
Really fantastic. I feel sorry for their kid more than anything.
One time while they were away Chris was looking after their house, feeding the dogs,
whatever. During this time Chris had people around there, a little party.
Luke drank too much and wandered off to sleep in their daughters
During the night he threw up on the floor.
The next day he covered it with a rug. Didn’t clean it. Just covered it.
Sean c ame back. the child was beaten for one making a smell, two lying about it.
…anyway, I digress. Chris eventually drove Sean away after much drama and fear.
By this time three of us were with out Jobs, Chris and Luke had stopped paying rent and things were going downhill.
Simon was dyed blue in his sleep, by Peter who was not paying rent and sleeping on our lounge room.
Chris who was also not paying rent started smashing things and screaming about everything.
Luke stopped paying for bills from what I understood at the time, stopped paying on a reliable basis anyway.
I started locking my room around this time. I didn’t feel very safe there anymore. The Jew did the same.
Someone was stealing his food.
My room there was so good.
I had my own shower, fridge, I was almost self contained. Sometimes I would pee in the sink.
It was just outside my door and was just the right height.
Sometime I dragged my TV to the door that opened onto the backyard, and say in my inflatable pool
drinking beer and watching movies.
Thinking back, I probably feel bad for Simon more than anyone. He had the house in his
name, he had to cover everything. That along with most of the house pressuring him to kick Chris out probably
explained what happened with him and Peter.
That and being dyed blue and laughed at. He had to go to work like that.
For whatever reason Simon had decided that it was a good idea to Kick Peter out.
Sure he didn’t pay anything, and monopolized the lounge. He was pretty inoffensive though compared to Chris at the time.
Violence ensured, Simon threw a bunch on his stuff onto the street.
No one could defend Peter, no one wanted to back Simon (We wanted Chris out) it was a mess.
That’s when I decided to leave.
I gave notice a few days later and took the Jew and the monkey with me.
Leading us into the Jew saga.