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* Got 90 minutes to get to the airport.
* No clean socks.
* Been sick for the last week, ate for the first time in four days without throwing up.

We’ll be on the street in Bangkok by 8am tommorow
IN A CYCLO.
DRUNK.

Edit: 28-11-05

Gallery is starting to go up. No video yet though.
Link!

13-11-2005
12:12

Finally managed to check into the hotel after lurking around for 3 hours getting drunk and pestering the desk staff.
Not a bad room, got a balcony and a magical multi-head shower. Just the thing for 9 hours on a plane full of RETARDS.
My god the plane ride sucked we were seated in the middle of some sort of Australian sports team on thier way to Puket. Assholes just wouldn’t shut up the whole time and were always walking around and such.

The one directly in front of me was the worst, he would have been 7 foot tall and just wouldn’t sit still. For the first hour of the flight I entertained myself with my knee in his back.
Need to go shopping today. Forgot to pack any socks

Edit:Holy shit, I’m the last person to have used remote desktop from this pc
Edit edit :Went to patpong, saw the expected bad things, bought some socks, drank and had a steak.

I’ve really missed being driven around in a tuk-tuk on the wrong side of the road with a warming beer in my hand.

So happy.

14th

Ahh breakfast in khoe sum and off to MBK
Tomorrow off to Cambodia

Edit: Had a “Thai” massage last night, $4 sounded like a great idea, ended up in a room above a bar full of mats, It seems that “Thai massage” translates to 30 minutes of someone’s elbows in my spine, being hit with bits of wood and slapped around.

Fantastic.

15th

Missed the damned plane this morning. Getting new, probably return tickets today. Seeing corpse bride today, watched saw 2 yesterday.

Steak hunter @ MBK

Edit:Watched corpse bride…guess it was worth 100BHT to see it, had a long walk around MBK, did some shopping, got a new rubber for my slingshot.
Still sick. Threw up over the balcony (and on the balcony door on the way out) pretty sure I got a guy on a bike from 17 floors up lol.

16th
Made it to Cambodia today.
Thus far we have seen the killing fields and S21 prison

No grenades. No water to throw them in. We did however fire several machineguns including, Tommy gun, AK47 and A big one that I used to shoot my trusty old NB5.

Also fired a hand gun. It was weird. The guns were all rusty, jamming all the time (not my big one though) they picked up and tried to re-use duds off the floor and beat the Tommy gun and Uzi on the walls and floor when they jammed….still loaded too.

Fun though.

Lots of beggars with no limbs around.
Ended up at the same hotel.

17th

Busy day.
Went to the national museum.
Went to the kings palace.
Went to the Russian market.
Went to some random temple.
Went through the water festival.
Went go-carting. – got crashed in to, still won
Went shooting again.
- .22 handgun.
- Grenades.
- Shotguned a duck for their dinner.

Back to the hotel. Dinner, TV and a 06:30 taxi to the airport then back to Bangkok.

Ps – I intend to update this entire story once I get home, we have photos and video of most of the really fun stuff.

Edit:After the above we grabbed a tuk-tuk and went out for dinner, we ended up at a shopping centre and had Cambodian fast food at a place called McKings. Really similar to Mc Donald’s but had a much better menu, everything from burgers to chicken, hash browns and fish and chips.

Afterwards we grabbed two cyclos back to the hotel. We were separated, my driver hurt two people on our way back. Running into their legs with the metal bar on the foot rest.

Traffic and the city in general was crazy, everyone making their way to the river for the festival.

18th

Sitting at the airport. Waiting to go back to Bangkok.
Looking forward to it. Two days in PP was more than enough.

We almost missed the fucking plane. After using the internet we wandered over to the gate at the appointed time to find their staff kinda angry with us and asking is we were on this flight.

They didn’t check our passports and made us run for the plane.
They yelled at us. “FASTER. YOU RUN FASTER NOW GO!”

Spent the remainder of the day sleeping and spitting green stuff over our balcony.

19th

Nice relaxed day. We went and picked up our stuff from the Taylor, after a kickass breakfast in Khao san, took it back to the hotel, watched TV and grabbed a tuk-tuk to MBK for the latest edition of STEAK HUNTER.

Was a bit strange, this time while making the same order I received something completely different. Still nice steak though.

Afterwards we payed our $4 and watched Lord or war. It had our grenades from Cambodia in it.

Afterwards we wandered back to the hotel, watched TV and had a big meal in the rotating restaurant. Probably the most expensive meal we had the whole time and we barely ate half.

20th

Didn’t really do much. Relaxed up by the pool for a few hours with drinks and a book. Had a nice nap. Put pineapple on Jizzspot’s nipple while he sunbaked.
Went to patpong in the evening browsed the market, JS tried and failed to document a few things with his camera. I told him, places like that wont let you take photos
After everything, he was still scared of visiting superpussy

Went to O-Riley’s Irish pub – Total rip-off, watered down drinks. JS argued with the staff
Had dinner. wasn’t really nice. Not feeling well. Watched the market being packed up through the window.
Our Tuk-Tuk did wheelies at every opportunity all the way back to the hotel

21st – Home time.

I stayed awake for most of the night. I never sleep well, in my heart I never really trust alarms so I dozed and watched TV waiting for 5am to arrive.

I used my time productively.
- Watching dodgy Asian TV.
- Peeing in pot plants.
- Coughing and spitting all over the balcony.

I was so sick

Come 5am we checked out, got ready and grabbed a taxi-meter to the airport. We were about an hour early for check in, no problem though. I’ve learned the hard way about missing flights. Sitting in a chair is less of a hardship than screwed plans.

Thankfully the flight from Bangkok to Sydney was underbooked again. We had three seats to ourselves so we could stretch out and use the middle seat and tray for our stuff.

About four hours into our flight I had a coughing fit long/deep enough that I blacked out and flailed around kicking the middle tray sending orange juice all over my companion and the middle seat.

*lol*

When we got to Sydney the plane filled up and I had to sit in the middle seat.
For 90 minutes.

Customs screwed me again. Twice actually.

In Sydney they x-rayed my bags and I was taken aside to discuss a manicure kit. It was a 8 piece kit I bought at MBK. She took 6 items from it.
Scissors I understand but how am I supposed to take over the plane with NAIL CLIPPERS ?

In Melbourne we were questioned twice before actually being directed to the RED customs line. (Line G)

The red customs line I think is reserved for suspected druggies or something similar. We went though the usual bag searches each of us with our own agent. (I had two though for some reason)

I’m there, tired and sick. Having trouble talking and these guys are “tell us about your trip” asking questions and making me feel retarded.

They were kinda pissy with me when they found my slingshot rubber (which I know is legal in Australia) they put it aside and wanted to know where the rest of the slingshot was and if I had it on me or at home.

I told them It cost me $1 and I was considering making one.
They took it away and came back and put it aside.

Then they found one of the shell casings I pocketed in Cambodia and again got all pissy about prohibited ammunition. I calmly took it from his hand and showed it to him. “Really, what am I going to do with this blackened, split casing ?” They took it away and put it aside.

Then they were all interested in my phone charger and camera changer.
Again put aside.

Then they were all interested in my two DVDs from Cambodia.
Q – Where did you get these ?
Q – What are they ?

A – A Market in Cambodia.
A – Some dodgy Asian movie and one about Rats or something that eat people.

They then (both very interested) removed them from the shrink wrap and examined the disks, checked behind them. I assured them that they were not pornos, I thing they were checking for drugs though.

Then they drug swabbed everything including my wallet and credit card.
All up it took about 25 minutes.

Fucking customs.